Pemergianmu Sentiasa Diingati..Kehilanganmu sentiasa Dirasai....

Assalammualaikum to all who read my blog..just want to say some words that I can't tell anyone about it..31 August 2012, the whole country celebrate Independence Day while my family in sorrow..we got shocking news about our lose..my beloved aunt, passed away at 4.40pm the reason for it is cancer...yes!! pancreas cancer that took my aunt live is just a reason..but as Muslim I need to accept Qada n Qadar from Allah...where there's live there's dead..who us to say the otherwise??..we just human and I'm already accept it that she's already gone forever.. I still remember,the time when I accompanying her..only silent and sometimes we talk about little thing that happen around us..that time i thought to myself..we really have a lot of generation gap but she always knew how to catch our,teenagers attention to something..she might knew too that i feel a little uncomfortable so she ask me to massages her and in my heart i said to myself again that i will do my duties till the end.i don't have any grandfathers or grandmothers or 'kampung' because both my grandparents already passed away since i'm lil' girl. i always can't be patient to go to her house in Hari Raya as she my father big sister.However, this year as her condition became more worse..we celebrate the raya with her in hospital. i can see how worse her condition is especially when i look at all the hospital equipment around her.when i'm accompanying her before i heard what the doctor with my aunt and his husband,my uncle discussion..all the reason to what happen with her..and about the operation she will do the day after. as my body feel really tired i also think that she will all right..everything will be just fine...i'm might be look laughing n seem okay..but my heart hurts..my thought full bout her..i'm feel real sad...i feel so sad..really sad..so bad sad..the sadness,the thought..all memories come to me one after the another..i just can't keep been alone or i will drown into the sadness..the thought..the feeling of guilty...like i feel when my granddad's died..when he passed away i ran into my brother room and cried real hard for a moment...i'm just stupefied like now........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................